So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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