I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize