areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
