Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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