she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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