They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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