I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
