Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
