Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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