Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he thought i was a dude.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
