i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
