I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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