he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
