I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
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Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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