I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
