It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Randomize
