her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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