Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize