Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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