This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
