Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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