): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
