GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
