When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
