If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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