my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
