no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Porn is love you can see.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
