I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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