She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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