3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
