So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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