i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
