I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
