Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
