I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
