she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He? As in you personified your dick?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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