I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize