Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
