Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
