I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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