um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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