I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
