Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
