there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
