My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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