Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
