We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
