You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
