Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
