The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
