Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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