Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize