why didn't you poke me back
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Damn victory sex feels great
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
