haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
