Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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