before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
