hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dick very happy bro
I need water and some morals
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
