I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
