after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
