Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
