When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
