I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
