So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
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We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
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I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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